Speech Training: Speech Disfluencies

Um and His Cousin Er

I hate speech coaches who don’t let you say “Um!”  I listen to a lot of speakers, and a few “Uhms” don’t bother me.  They make the speaker seem normal and conversational.

On the other hand,  I try not to say them myself, and I DO get annoyed when the “Uhms” are too frequent, loud, or long.  For instance, I have occasionally had “Uhmmers” who take a breath and then emit a trumpet-of-an-uhm with the full force of their brand new tank of air.

Michael Erard has written a book about verbal slips and blunders called UM…SLIPS, STUMBLES, AND VERBAL BLUNDERS AND WHAT THEY MEAN. Here are a few tidbits.

• Verbal “disfluencies” constitute 5% to 8% of the words we utter every day
• Verbal slips are different from verbal blunders
• We tend to-uh-notice slips and ignore-uhm-blunders

Well-known slips include the malapropism, as when Curly of the Three Stooges says, “I resemble that remark!”  It’s a confusion of words that sound alike–usually humorous.

Then there’s the eggcorn, a word used incorrectly, such as, “for all intensive purposes,” or “when all is set and done.”  “Eggcorn” itself is an eggcorn for acorn.

The spoonerism is also common.  It’s a reversal of the initial letters or syllables of words, as when Mr. Spooner (the supposed originator) toasted Queen Victoria: “Here’s to our queer old dean!”  More relevant for us is an intentional one attributed to Dorothy Parker: “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

Other common problems are, naturally the pause fillers (Um and his cousin Er); repeated words (“Will-will you marry me?”); repeated sounds (“B-but I just can’t!”); prolonged vowels or syllables, and restarted or repaired sentences.

Mr. Erard does not discuss “Like, you know, I mean,” but I think they do serious damage to one’s credibility.

By the way, did you know that tying down a person’s arm induces blunders while gesturing reduces them?

Did you know that speaking with your hands in your pockets increases blunders?

Did you know that Thomas Jefferson was “a verbal bungler with a lisp?”

Finally, the book makes the case that verbal blunders are normal, “an indelible mark of humanness,” although I have a suggestion.  Someone should begin to track the number of blunders the presidential candidates make and see if, over time, the one with fewer blunders wins more often.